Ever watch a particularly embarrassing scene in a movie and asked yourself, “Why the hell would this actor agree to do this?” That's Barbara Crampton in the picture above. She's about to film a scene in Re-Animator that will be especially wince worthy. She looks like she knows she's just made a poor judgement call. More about this movie later.
God knows, there’s been plenty of awful movie moments; too many to count. However, I’m talkin’ about stuff that makes you feel downright uncomfortable. I’m talking about actors and actresses making bad decisions.
Before I give you my top “what were they thinking?” list, let me spell it out a bit more:
1. Regret and humiliation go hand-in-hand with pornography. However, I’d rather not make this a list of the most degrading and twisted pornos. So, pornos don’t count.
2. I’m not talking about bad career decisions. There's not an actor who hasn’t starred in at least one pathetic flop. We're talking here about isolated movie scenes that make you wince with pain.
Movie: Making the Grade
Actor: Judd Nelson
Scene: The Breakdance
Judd Nelson is a skid row loser who’s posing as a private school preppy. To earn the respect of his peers and win over the ladies, Nelson tells the band to stop playing moldy oldies, and shouts “It’s break time!!!” At which point he (and an obvious body double) perform some wicked breakdancing moves…. and by wicked I mean painfully bad. The scene where Judd Nelson does the robot slowly and turns to catch the eye of a girl is about as embarrassing as it gets.
Movie: The Nude Bomb
Actress: Andrea Howard
Scene: Awkward manhandle by Don Adams
The first theatrical film adaption of the television show, Get Smart, ended up being not a nude bomb (it was rated PG) but a box office bomb. The climactic scene involves Maxwell Smart and his female sidekick, actress Andrea Howard in the Barbara Feldon role.
They’re in a control room and some kind of nerve gas is released causing Howard to lose the ability to move from the waist down(?). Doesn’t sound particularly funny, does it? It gets worse. Maxwell then proceeds to try to carry her to safety, but is unable to do so without slamming her around with her dress pulled up, dragging, dropping her all over the place. This might’ve been okay for a minute or two, but it seems to last for an eternity! No laugh track, no dialogue, no music…. just the uncomfortable soft clatter of Maxwell Smart manhandling Andrea Howard for seemingly ten straight agonizing minutes.
Movie: Re-Animator
Actress: Barbara Crampton
Scene: Severed head sex scene
Re-Animator is actually a great movie. It’s over the top and quite graphic at times, but it doesn't take itself very seriously; so, you're more inclined to view it as campy fun than nihilistic gore like Saw IV or Last House on the Left. That being said, the movie does contain a rather shocking scene - the kind that makes you wonder if you actually just saw that. That couldn't have just happened, could it?
The scene I'm referring to is where a headless mad doctor kidnaps Barbara Crampton, takes her clothes off, then takes his still animated severed head (which was lying in a pan of blood) and puts it between her legs to.... well, I think you can guess the rest.
How in the world did the director get Barbara (who was currently starring on Santa Barbara) to agree to this? Well, you might argue that it was also just good campy fun. True. However, the fact remains: she was naked and had a talking decapitated head put between her legs!
Movie: Doctor Detroit
Actor: Dan Akroyd
Scene: Dance number with James Brown
OK. First off, Akroyd looks like a cross between David Bowie in Labyrinth and Will Ferrell’s impersonation of Harry Carey. Plus, for no apparent reason, he has a metal claw hand (?) and sounds like Truman Capote doing an intoxicated impersonation of Dr. Evil!
Add to that, the movie’s climax has him doing a dance with Fran Drescher, James Brown, Donna Dixon, and the whole audience keeping step. It was like someone’s sick, twisted joke. You cannot convince me that Akroyd was not doing dangerous amounts of coke while filming this movie.
And the winner is....
Movie: Deliverance
Actor: Ned Beatty
Scene: (do I really need to tell you?)
This scene makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. The minute those two hillbillies detain Jon Voight and Ned Beatty, things get rough. The guy with the knife tells Ned to take his "panties" off, and we get to see ol' Ned remove his tighty whities. Then we're treated to an incredibly graphic rape scene, where the hillbilly handles Ned like a hog, smacking him and telling him to squeal.... and, lucky us, we get to see it all. (gag)
Not surprisingly, Ned never really lived this one down. Once you've seen it, you can't really look at him again without being reminded of it. The image will be permanently burned onto your retina. No acting roles, no matter how diverse, will ever erase this from our collective memory. Way to go, Ned.
Runners Up:
1. Ralph Macchio air guitar in Karate Kid II
2. In Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker delivers this line: ""I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth." I would have refused on principle.
I could go on and on, but I'll let you fill in the gaps. Please leave a comment with your suggestion of a wince worthy scene that had you cringing and feeling uncomfortable.
Before I give you my top “what were they thinking?” list, let me spell it out a bit more:
1. Regret and humiliation go hand-in-hand with pornography. However, I’d rather not make this a list of the most degrading and twisted pornos. So, pornos don’t count.
2. I’m not talking about bad career decisions. There's not an actor who hasn’t starred in at least one pathetic flop. We're talking here about isolated movie scenes that make you wince with pain.
Movie: Making the Grade
Actor: Judd Nelson
Scene: The Breakdance
Judd Nelson is a skid row loser who’s posing as a private school preppy. To earn the respect of his peers and win over the ladies, Nelson tells the band to stop playing moldy oldies, and shouts “It’s break time!!!” At which point he (and an obvious body double) perform some wicked breakdancing moves…. and by wicked I mean painfully bad. The scene where Judd Nelson does the robot slowly and turns to catch the eye of a girl is about as embarrassing as it gets.
Movie: The Nude Bomb
Actress: Andrea Howard
Scene: Awkward manhandle by Don Adams
The first theatrical film adaption of the television show, Get Smart, ended up being not a nude bomb (it was rated PG) but a box office bomb. The climactic scene involves Maxwell Smart and his female sidekick, actress Andrea Howard in the Barbara Feldon role.
They’re in a control room and some kind of nerve gas is released causing Howard to lose the ability to move from the waist down(?). Doesn’t sound particularly funny, does it? It gets worse. Maxwell then proceeds to try to carry her to safety, but is unable to do so without slamming her around with her dress pulled up, dragging, dropping her all over the place. This might’ve been okay for a minute or two, but it seems to last for an eternity! No laugh track, no dialogue, no music…. just the uncomfortable soft clatter of Maxwell Smart manhandling Andrea Howard for seemingly ten straight agonizing minutes.
Movie: Re-Animator
Actress: Barbara Crampton
Scene: Severed head sex scene
Re-Animator is actually a great movie. It’s over the top and quite graphic at times, but it doesn't take itself very seriously; so, you're more inclined to view it as campy fun than nihilistic gore like Saw IV or Last House on the Left. That being said, the movie does contain a rather shocking scene - the kind that makes you wonder if you actually just saw that. That couldn't have just happened, could it?
The scene I'm referring to is where a headless mad doctor kidnaps Barbara Crampton, takes her clothes off, then takes his still animated severed head (which was lying in a pan of blood) and puts it between her legs to.... well, I think you can guess the rest.
How in the world did the director get Barbara (who was currently starring on Santa Barbara) to agree to this? Well, you might argue that it was also just good campy fun. True. However, the fact remains: she was naked and had a talking decapitated head put between her legs!Movie: Doctor Detroit
Actor: Dan Akroyd
Scene: Dance number with James Brown
OK. First off, Akroyd looks like a cross between David Bowie in Labyrinth and Will Ferrell’s impersonation of Harry Carey. Plus, for no apparent reason, he has a metal claw hand (?) and sounds like Truman Capote doing an intoxicated impersonation of Dr. Evil!
Add to that, the movie’s climax has him doing a dance with Fran Drescher, James Brown, Donna Dixon, and the whole audience keeping step. It was like someone’s sick, twisted joke. You cannot convince me that Akroyd was not doing dangerous amounts of coke while filming this movie.
And the winner is....Movie: Deliverance
Actor: Ned Beatty
Scene: (do I really need to tell you?)
This scene makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. The minute those two hillbillies detain Jon Voight and Ned Beatty, things get rough. The guy with the knife tells Ned to take his "panties" off, and we get to see ol' Ned remove his tighty whities. Then we're treated to an incredibly graphic rape scene, where the hillbilly handles Ned like a hog, smacking him and telling him to squeal.... and, lucky us, we get to see it all. (gag)
Not surprisingly, Ned never really lived this one down. Once you've seen it, you can't really look at him again without being reminded of it. The image will be permanently burned onto your retina. No acting roles, no matter how diverse, will ever erase this from our collective memory. Way to go, Ned.Runners Up:
1. Ralph Macchio air guitar in Karate Kid II
2. In Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker delivers this line: ""I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth." I would have refused on principle.
I could go on and on, but I'll let you fill in the gaps. Please leave a comment with your suggestion of a wince worthy scene that had you cringing and feeling uncomfortable.
