If you're in a horror movie and want to get killed, here's some helpful tips for getting whacked. Along with each tip is your odds of survival. Good luck!
1. When you've shot or stabbed the bad guy, drop your weapon. Then, either slump in the corner crying or go check to make sure he's dead. 30%
2. Do drugs, have sex, or drink alcohol. 8%
3. When bodies start to pile up, the best thing to do is split up into easier targets. 12%
4. Go for a swim, 10%.... or even better, skinny dip. 0%
5. Follow the instructions of the police when they tell you to either "stay right there" or that "it's only in your imagination". 15%
6. Say the words "I'll be right back". 5%
7. Find a book about demon summoning or opening a portal to hell, then read it out loud. 17%
8. Not be the main character. 23%
9. When being chased by a killer, run wildly into the woods rather than head to a populated area. 11%
11. Stand in front of a mirror. Be patient.... he'll come. 3%
12. When house hunting, look for an old one that (a) has a history of murder or (b) is built on an ancient burial ground. 19%
13. Go check the basement or a darkened room. 4%
14. Drive an unreliable car at night on a deserted road. 5%
15. If someone dares you to do something, do it. 0%
16. Take a bath or shower. 50%
18. If you lose something, always go back for it. 14%
19. Go see a fortune teller. There's a chance she may tell you that you're going to die; if so, your odds of survival equal 0%
20. If you're camping and have to use the bathroom at night - be sure to walk at least 2 miles from the campsite. 1%
Note: Another precausion you can take to lessen your survival chances is to never change the batteries in your flashlight, that way it will be more likely to go dead while searching a basement or the woods. Also, be sure to have at least 30 keys on your keychain, that way you are sure to fumble madly looking for the ignition key when being pursued.
If you have any more ways to get killed in a horror movie, please share in the comments!
