Vintage Scares #9: Midgets

I know I sound insensitive when I say this, but midgets and dwarves often scare the hell out of me. Before you judge me, please read on.

I've mentioned before that there are certain things which, under the right conditions, scare the living shit out of me. Clowns, ventriloquist dolls and children (those twins in The Shining... need I say more?) all can be horribly frightening in the dark.  Now it's time to add another item to the list - Little People.

Bear in mind, a midget, a clown, a child, and a ventriloquist doll aren't frightening in their own right, but when they appear unexpectedly out of their "element" doing strange things, it can be quite terrifying.  My own toddler has scared the crap out of me when I saw him walking through the house in the middle of the night.  There's just something about it!

Examples:

As a kid, the Oompa Loompas never sat well with me. They left me feeling a little uneasy. The thought of waking up and finding an Oompa Loompa standing in the dark by my bed caused me great insomnia as a wee lad. 

Ever seen The Manitou (1978)? The VHS box reads: "A psychic's girlfriend finds out that a lump on her back is a growing reincarnation of a 400 year-old demonic Native American spirit.".... Yes, you read it right. Read it again, and let it sink in this time.  Now, what if I told you that demonic Native American is a deformed midget who literally punches his way out of the womans uterus? Think about it.

Ever seen lungs impaled by a leprechaun riding a Pogo stick? Well, then you haven't seen the shitty Leprechaun series (and there's been FIVE of them so far!). Great review found here.

I can say this with perfect confidence: The Sinful Dwarf (1973) is the most effed up disturbing movie I have ever seen. This grindhouse nasty HAD to have left every cast member and crew traumatized; the DVD should come with a coupon for a free therapy session and a pack of Zoloft. Why did I watch it, you ask? Eccentric Cinema said it best in a review of this film:

"For connoisseurs of trash cinema, watching this low budget grotesquerie is the equivalent of having to take a dump in the scuzziest public toilet imaginable... You just gotta do it, even if you know an industrial strength antibacterial will be required afterwards."

And finally, just when you thought "Dwarfsploitation" couldn't get any worse, there's Spermula (1976). SWEET SASSY MOLASSY!