You mean, I can have 300 attractive females at my disposal for one lousy buck? Hot dog! I can't wait to hook up with these farmer's daughters, grieving widows, and lonely nurses. Where do I send the check?..... Hey, wait a minute. This sounds too good to be true. This wouldn't by any chance be a scam, now would it?
I'm thinkin', yes. Major scam. Take a look through men's magazines from the 50's and 60's, and they're loaded with this type of false advertising. It makes me wonder how many dollar bills actually went in the mail to these frauds. Kid's comic books were filled with similar rip-offs like Sea Monkeys and X-Ray Specs; the men's mags were no different - just geared toward grown men. Let's take a look at a few.
I love this one! Judging by the expression on this guy's face, I think he may have just learned the hard way that you can't really make a healthy living with a foosball franchise. He seems to be crying bitterly, and perhaps stabbing himself at the same time. A hard lesson learned, indeed.
If foosball franchises aren't your cup of tea, how about becoming a typewriter repair man, (ahem).... excuse me, a typewriter maintenance expert. Just think, gorgeous women will be paying you handsomely for your services - sounds like a dream come true.
Now we're talkin'. I can have absolute control over my fellow human beings for only a few dollars! With a fingersnap, I can command my boss to give me a raise and have my children do chores without griping. Sounds like $2.00 well spent!
This poor woman has torn her dress, is falling out of her blouse, and seems disoriented and vulnerable. Good thing there's a handsome, highly paid accident investigator there to assist! Man, they never told me about this cool job at Career Day!
Here's yet another accident investigator ad scam. Evidently, when an attractive woman hurts her calf, you'll be the first to be called.
I wonder if any schlubs ever got away with this - if there's some old woman right now wearing a 50 year old diamondite ring that she never new was fake. It says it looks like a real diamond, will cut glass and is guaranteed for life. This diamondite may have had something going for it- I wonder how it stacks up against cubic zirconia.
Of course, the mother of all frauds is the "make a he-man out of a weakling" advertisement. These come in so many varieties that I need to cover them in a post of their own. It perfectly capitalized on the inadequacies felt by men who read these magazines. You are a pathetic girly-man - get up off your bony ass and send a check to Charles Atlas now!
