The things they did with yarn in the 70s gives me the shivers. Crochet is fine for sweaters and scarves, but when it starts trying to be "fashionable" and "trendy", things get out of hand. Let's face it - people did a lot of drugs in the 70s, and drugs and needlework do not mix. You wind up with things like the image above. A man should never put a belt OVER a sweater.... and then combine it with an ascot - damn!
I'm going to ignore the fact that this woman has an otherwise nice looking outfit accented by a bicentennial mid-waisted belt that matches her purse which bears three large balls of yarn. Instead, I'm going to focus on that poor dog forced to wear a cape. If he had any dignity he'd fight it, but it looks like he's goin' with it. The neighborhood mutts must tease him mercilessly, as well they should. It's sad really, that a descendant of the mighty and majestic wolf would come to this.
The man on the right is sporting leather pants and a tank top crochet sweater OVER another crochet sweater... and the chick is focused on him, and could give a shit less about the guy on the left. I guess those checkered Herb Tarlic pants never were too flattering.
Okay, now things are getting out of hand. I lived in the seventies, I wore horrible clothes in the seventies, and I saw lots of people wearing horrible clothes in the seventies.... but I never - I repeat, NEVER - saw anyone who was not Elton John wearing a red, white and blue shag vest . Wow!
I included this picture because the girl on the left with the brown sweater and yellow dress is in EVERY catalog from the 70s, and I'd really like to get her name. In fact, this anonymous woman is worthy of an entire post. She's in tons of needlework spreads like this, and catalog after catalog - from Montgomery Wards to Sears, she's there throughout the decade. I doubt there's many more people out there who've spent as much time as I have paging through old catalogs and needlework booklets, and so I speak with some authority when I say this chick is the most ubiquitous catalog model of the decade.... and I don't even know her name. Someone out there help me out.
JESUS H. CHRIST ON A RITZ CRACKER!! Mama's wearing a pair of see through pants, and dad's got on a crochet suit jacket. Damn.
Here's my ad copy:
Look out ladies, these guys are on the make. Suave, sophistacted, and not afraid to put on some yarn, these gentlemen demand attention. Whether it's in the hot tub or at the club, these boys want satisfaction, and the ladies are only too willing to oblige. Women say "yes" to yarn.
And one more, just to show you that crochet isn't all bad. But then, if it's worn by the right woman, are miniskirts ever bad?
