"One Nine for Santa" by Fogwell Flax and the Ankle Biters from Freehold Junior School
The song is extremely un-funny and barely "listenable"; however, I love the combination of CB radios and Christmas! By 1981, the CB craze had died out in the US, but was going strong in the UK; hence, this album.
"Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" by John Denver
Easily the most depressing Christmas song I've ever heard. Just what I want to hear around the holidays: a song about some alcoholic douche bag who beats his wife and kids. Happy Holidays!
"I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" by Wizzard
When Jeff Lynne left The Move to form the Electric Light Orchestra, Roy Wood went in a less commercially successful direction and formed Wizzard. This 1973 song was beaten to the number one UK chart position by Slade's Christmas song "Merry Xmas Everybody". Wizzard's song was the source of further indignity when it was covered by Wilson Phillips in 2010.
"Hang Your Balls on the Christmas Tree" by Kay Martin and Her Body Guards
This is the mother of all dirty Christmas albums. For years, the I Know What He Wants for Christmas record was going for hundreds on ebay, but only fuzzy crappy images of the cover existed on the interwebs. Plus, no one was posting the songs to download. Yet, the lousy images were enough to entice seekers of obscure holiday records. There were two options: pay big bucks on ebay or remain horribly frustrated.
Then, the greatest of all Christmas record blogs, A Christmas Yuleblog, acquired the record and a good quality scan of the front and back was unleashed upon the world (see image above). Was it worth the wait and anticipation? Well, that depends on your expectations. If you expected the next Sgt. Pepper, you were sure to be disappointed. But if you expected just a naughty and hilarious holiday romp, you got it!
