Yes, I know, it’s kind of a geeky question.... okay, it's a very geeky question. But I can’t help but ask it – where would you rather live, the Star Trek universe or the Star Wars universe? How about the Logan’s Run universe or the Buck Rogers universe of the 25th century? Inquiring minds want to know. Don’t answer too quickly. Let’s take a minute to look at each of these and more, and then come to an informed decision.
Blade Runner
A shitty dystopian cesspool, but maybe not too shabby if you like city life. However, the level of pollution and overcrowded dinginess is a little over the top, so I’d have to rule it out.
Star Trek
Sure, it’s got a unified multicultural peace going for it, but how fun would it be for the Earthlings? Not everyone can be Captain Kirk cruising around the galaxy doinking every sexy alien that comes his way. No, the Star Trek Earth is a socialist communal never-never land. Too kumbaya for me.
Star Wars
Unless you’re a Jedi, this Universe sucks. Tattooine and Geonosis are godforsaken deserts. Hoth is a godforsaken ice cube. Dagobah is a godforsaken swamp. Mustafar is a godforsaken lava planet. Alderon gets blown up. There’s the Ewok and Wookie forest planets – no thanks. Naboo is boring as hell. Coruscant is the city planet, but not exactly a dream world. Then there’s all these wars raging. Not “no”, but “hell no”.
Logan’s Run
Upside: Every woman on this planet is smoking hot and wears skimpy miniskirts. And you males can order up one of these dynamite foxes to materialize into your living room at the press of a button.
Downside: The whole planet is air conditioned and looks like an 80s mall. Plus you get exterminated when you turn 30. Yeah, I think the cons outweigh the pros in this universe.
Firefly
This is the anti-Star Trek universe. It certainly would make for an interesting place to live, but I can’t say I’d be chomping at the bit to live there. I’ll pass.
Dune
Sandy ultra-serious downerville (aka Arrakis) isn’t calling my name. Plus, everyone’s forever talking about “the spice”. Shut up about the spice already!
UFO
Now we’re getting warmer. Everything’s groovy and those Moon Maidens are the very definition of shagadelic. However, not to nitpick, things just aren’t that different. Other than SHADO headquarters) things look pretty much as they really were. It was supposed to take place in 1980, so I guess it’s to be expected. No thanks.
Battlestar Galactica, Lost in Space and Space:1999
I never watched the new Battlestar, so I’m going purely on the original series. All I can say about these shows is – who the hell wants to be stuck on a space ship forever? Can you say “cabin fever”? No thanks.
A Clockwork Orange
A grahzny place with ultra-violence and dratsing. For the old in-and-out it’s real horrorshow. But too much krovvy and tolchocking for my tastes.
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
It’s got all the benefits of Logan’s Run without the mass murder of all 30 year olds. The 25th Century has smoking hot chicks everywhere you look with all the amenities of The Jetsons. Plus, the people of 2430 obviously appreciate the awesomeness that was 1979. Discos are "in", as is the Farrah look and the macho Burt Reynolds style.... and there's wisecracking chauvinist robots to boot. Indeed, there's literally no downside to this universe. Who needs a freaking "holodeck" when you're livin' the dream, baby!
