Catalogs #14: Sears Fashion 1981

Here's a heaping helping of fashion scans taken from Sears (and Simpsons-Sears in Canada) catalogs from 1981. Click on the images to enlarge. Enjoy!

Catalogs #7: Catalog for Solid Gold Dancers

I came across some catalogs from the 1980s that featured some pretty outrageous clothes - I simply had to share them with you.  I was instantly reminded of those Solid Gold Dancers (for you Brits: they were sort of an imitation of Pan's People) - a group of ladies (and unambiguously gay men) who dressed in gold lamé and danced very suggestively.

I must tell you, it was extreeeemly awkward watching these dancers thrust and heave their glittering bodies at the camera with my parents.

Of course, to say the fashions in this catalog remind me of Solid Gold Dancers is really just a nice way of saying they look like 80s hookers.  I promise there's no nudity here, but these New Wave disco dollies are definitely dressed to kill, so cover your child's impressionable eyes.




I'm also reminded of those video vixens in the early days of MTV.  Back in the day, nearly every video had some sort of eye candy prancing around.  It wasn't just the hair bands that did it - before them, guys like Adam Ant, Golden Earring, ZZ Top, The Cars, and even Duran Duran paved the way for music video cheesecake.



Yes, disco was dead, but the shiny clothes lived on.  Throw in a quart of hairspray and some obnoxious sunglasses, and you've got yourself a certified eighties ensemble.



More shininess. This time with some amazingly bad hair.  The chick in the middle just looks awful with that hairstyle that seems to be a cross between Sheena Easton and Kid 'N' Play.



Oh, yes. She's got the sexy eighties stare down pat.  The look says "I'm a filthy bitch, and way, way too good for you, you pathetic creature".

Here's the rest of the catalog.  Once again, I'll forewarn you that some are pretty slutty looking.  Whether that's a good or bad thing is for you to decide.


Don't forget: You can expand this to full screen.

That 80s Style

Far too much time is spent marvelling at the jaw dropping fashions of the 1970's; however, the 1980's deserve equal time.  They could be every bit as awful, and oftentimes worse.  Take for instance, the bedazzled sweaters and sweatshirts shown above. My eyes!!

I wonder if those shoes are L.A. Gear, and I think those are acid washed jeans. Never has so much 80's radness been condensed into a  400 x 267 image. It's almost too much to take in at once.

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This is the 1980's James Spader asshole fashion line. You basically had to be a egotistical douche to wear something like this - it's perfect to wear while giving hateful condescending stares to geeks.

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Can you count all the unholy trademarks of the 80's? The bright colors, leg warmers, huge hair, pastel overkill, mega tan, multi-colored eye shadow, ankle boots, cat suit, headband.... need I go on?

I have a theory why everything was bursting with loud colors in the 1980's: because it wasn't popular in the 70's. The 1970's were scorned in the 80's, and so the earth tones popular in the previous decade were verboten. Dishwater brown and avocado were OUT, and retina-damaging neon pink was IN!  The 1970's have been called the "browning of America"; so, I think it may be appropriate to say the 1980's were the pastelling of America. Personally, (and not surprisingly) I prefer the colors of the 1970's to the Care Bear colors of the 1980's. 

I have a love-hate relationship with 1970's fashions. For 80's fashions, there is only hate. When I see MC Hammer pants rolled up above the ankle, I want to kill something.... preferably something with loud obnoxious colors.  And everything California was so damn cool - these schlubs may be wearing "SoCal surf wear", but something tells me they're not going to be riding any waves anytime soon.

 

I found this at a flea market the other day - it's from a booklet on ways to desecrate perfectly good sweaters and sweatshirts.  What became of all these sweaters? After grunge hit in the early 90's, sweaters that looked like a unicorn threw up on them were no longer fashionable. Someone tell me what became of all the millions of bedazzled sweaters - Retrospace wants to know.

I leave you with this image from 1987, not to torture you, but to demonstrate that the awfulness of 80's fashion transcended color. Here we have some ladies with colors that actually don't cause migraines; however, they are godawful nonetheless. The title "Neckline Extravaganza" combined with this photo is just priceless. You can thank me later.