When Cassidy Was King

In the latter half of the seventies, there were a number of teenage heart-throbs: Leif Garret, Travolta, Shaun Cassidy, Donny Osmond, etc. But in the early seventies, there was no question who reigned supreme for pre-teen girls - it was David Cassidy.

If you look at how extensively this guy was marketed, it is shocking. I would argue he was marketed more than Star Wars! George Lucas had nothing on the David Cassidy money machine.  

There were the obvious products: the posters, the signed photographs, the albums, the patches, the lunch boxes, the buttons, the television show, the dolls, and the many, many magazines that featured the omnipresent Partridge. Indeed, Cassidy's face looked a lot like money.

However, the lengths to which his likeness was peddled was awe inspiring: candy, purses, belt buckles, iron-ons, Halloween costumes, books, pillowcases, trading cards, comics, jigsaw puzzles and jewelry.There were literally David Cassidy cigar wrappers!   

From 1970 - 1972, it seemed David Cassidy's fame knew no limits. He played to two sellout crowds of at the Houston Astrodome over one weekend in 1972. He sold out Madison Square Garden in one day, and there were riots afterward.  In London, 650 were injured, and one girl killed when mass hysteria swept the crowd and fans mobbed the stage.  Everyone wanted a piece of David Cassidy.

.It wasn't long before things began to unravel. All this adulation started to go to his head.  He was no longer satisfied with Tiger Beat. He wanted his name on the cover of Rolling Stone! In 1972, he achieved that distinction, but it came at a price.  In the article, Cassidy seemed to have completely forgotten where all the money was coming from - throngs of rabid tweens - and talked openly about his sex life, posed semi nude, and discussed his drug usage. Ummm.... what do you think the reaction was from his fan base?

David Cassidy groupies from an episode of The Partridge Family

Not surprisingly, the article was not well received. The wheels were starting to come off the Cassidy gravy train. 

I don't blame him. When you're a Tiger Beat star, you may be well paid, but you're not taken seriously. This same desire to be "critically accepted" led to the break up of The Monkees a few years prior. But it's a hard road to break free from the teeny bopper typecast.  The Beatles were able to break free, but they are the exception, not the rule.

Well, it wasn't long lived, but it was an amazing taste of fame that only a handful of people on earth can claim to have experienced.  Think about how people that were really popular in high school often let it go their heads. Now imagine being the most popular guy in every school, in every city, in every state, in the entire country for two straight years - holy shit, that must've been something else!

Hey, Isn't That...? #4: The Partridge Family

I was watching The Partridge Family with my daughter the other day when I noticed not one, but TWO Charlie's Angels appearing briefly on the show. In one episode Jaclyn Smith plays a girl the Partridge kids mistake for a mistress.  They inform their mother (Shirley Jones) that her man is two-timing her.... only to find out that Jacqueline is the dude's niece.  Sounds like a Three's Company episode!

"The Sound of Money" episode is among my favorites because it tells a touching story of a bitter old bachelor (played by Harry Morgan of Dragnet and M*A*S*H) who learns to love with the help of the charming Partridge kids..... but mostly I like it because of Farrah.

In this scene Danny and Reuben use Farrah Fawcett as a decoy to expose an old man as a fraud. She "accidentally" drops something, and if Harry Morgan picks it up, it'll prove he's not really injured and therefore can't sue The Partridges. At first it seems to work...

Unfortuneately, Danny can't keep his eyes off of Farrah, and doesn't snap a picture of the old man bending over. Instead, he gets a picture of Farrah.  Can't say as I blame him.

This scene is hilarious. Look at Danny Bonaduce - can you tell what's got his attention? I have a feeling this wasn't planned. Young Bonaduce just couldn't controll himself.

Yeah. He's still looking....

Of course, I noticed this tended to happen a lot with the randy Bonaduce.  Here he is in another episode. Once again, can you tell what's got his attention?

This picture is going to be my new wallpaper on my work computer. Bonaduce has never been what you would call discrete or shy, and I don't think these programs were as heavily edited as they are today, so Bonaduce's expressions probably passed under the radar.  In this episode, "Danny and the Mob"(1970), he's getting an eyefull of actress Barbara Rhoades' assets.

Later in that episode, Barbara Rhoades marries a mobster who's played by...... Schneider!!! Yes, that's Pat Harrington, Jr. kissing the lovely bride.  Harrington would, of course, go on to play the annoying handyman on One Day at a Time.

In another episode, the Partridges have their bus break down in the ghetto. Turns out there's a club there that's being muscled out of business. Thank goodness the Partridges are there to solve the problems of the ghetto simply by singing.  I did a double take when I saw Richard Pryor appear onscreen.

And lastly, here's Luke Skywalker Mark Hamill. He plays Laurie's boyfriend. She's afraid her new braces are driving him away (the plot is very Bradyesque).

Other actors I noticed on The Partridge Family were Dr. Bombay from Bewitched, Uncle Fester from The Addam's Family, Vic Taybak from Alice and Ray Bolger, the guy that played the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.  Anyway, I get a lot of enjoyment, God knows why, from spotting actors in unexpected places. It's a sickness.

Thanksgiving 1977: A Stoner's Dream Comes True, A Dirty Susan Dey and the Honda Hobbit

“The marijuana looked like seaweed”

Florida potheads had a lot to be thankful for on Thanksgiving 1977 as 25 tons of marijuana washed up on San Fernandina Beach, Florida. As you can imagine, the beach was soon crawling with people eager to grab a little free weed (it was the '70s after all). Evidently, a boat carrying the cargo had exploded "sending tons of Colombian gold into the air, onto the beach and into the water." (source: here)

It was such a welcome and wonderful event for local stoners that a commemorative shirt was even made: "Thanksgiving 1977 - Fernandina Beach, Florida - 25 Tons," and sported a large marijuana leaf. (Click image on left to enlarge)

I wonder if any of the Florida stoners got high that night and turned on ABC to watch the awful Thanksgiving Reunion with the Partridge Family and My Three Sons on ABC. Susan Dey wasn't able to participate because she was on location for a movie. Suzanne Crough, the youngest Partridge daughter and tambourine player, was also absent since she was filming the crappy soon-to-be-cancelled TV show "Mulligan's Stew" (photo on right).

I watched the special and remember being not too excited to watch an awkward reunion of two cancelled TV shows. I wonder if Andy Warhol also watched it; his chronology says he watched TV that night.

What movie was Susan Dey filming, you ask, that made her miss the special? Well, if you had bought the People magazine on sale that week, you would have read that she was filming First Love with William Katt. People makes it sound almost like a porno. I've never actually seen it, but am skeptical it's as dirty as they made it sound.

Also, if you had bought that People magazine you would have seen an ad for an incredibly named moped: The Honda Hobbit.

"The Hobbit turns your everyday dull driving trips into bright happy Hobbit hops"
What can I say? It was the seventies.

Casualties and Survivors of the Darrin Syndrome

Does anyone remember that fateful day when you turned on "The Dukes of Hazzard", and instead of Bo and Luke, you got Coy and Vance? Kids around the country stared at their TV set in utter disbelief. Let's have a look back at some other shameless replacements and poor substitutes from pop culture history.

There's Greg, Peter, Bobby, Marcia, J-... hey, wait a minute, that's not Jan! Fans tuning in to the Brady Bunch Hour in 1977 found themselves squinting at the screen, thinking there was something different about Jan. Well, there was something different about Jan- instead of Eve Plumb we got the interloper Geri Reischl!

in-ter-lop-er (ĭn'tər-lō'pər) n. One that interferes with the affairs of others, often for selfish reasons; a meddler.

Of course, this all a matter of preference. Some people may have liked Dick Sargent better than Dick York. Me, I much preferred York to Sargent... and no, it has nothing to do with Sargent's gayness, and a lot to do with his excruciating whininess. York may have been a bit neurotic, but it was played with a lot more levity.

Sometimes, replacements come and go and no one even notices or cares. Soap opera viewers can attest to that. And did anyone really care when Becky changed faces on "Rosanne"? Not me.

Then there are those that more than meet expectations. Would anyone call Roger Moore or Tom Baker (Dr. Who) poor substitutes? How well an actor fills someone's shoes is often a matter of taste and can be complicated. There's even an MSN article about it.

Here's a tip. When someone asks for a beer, don't hand them a Zima. And when someone wants Van Halen, don't give them this guy.

Believe me, I understand that rock bands frequently change members. You just about need an Excel spreadsheet to keep track with the lineups of some bands (King Crimson, I'm talking to you!). However, it's when a central figure, a well-loved and respected member, gets replaced that there's a problem. Especially when the replacement happens to be Sammy Hagar!

Mr. Furley was a more than adequate replacement for the Ropers, but did Jenilee Harrison or Priscilla Barnes come close to measuring up to Suzanne Somers?

Maybe not. But I don't think a lot of you were complaining...

Here's some other TV character replacements with colorful opinions from your overly opinionated author:

1. Edna Garret (played by Charlotte Rae) is replaced by the lame Adelaide Brubaker on Diff'rent Strokes."Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" I'm talkin' 'bout a replacement failure
2. Cheryl Ladd replaces Farrah Fawcett on Charlie's Angels: a success
3. Al Molinaro replaces Pat Morita as the owner of Al's on Happy Days: a success (incidentally, Morita would then replace Molinaro in the last couple seasons)
4. Woody replaces Coach on Cheers: a success
5. Spencer Milligan (as Rick Marshall) is replaced by Ron Harper on Land of the Lost: abysmal failure
6. Marilyn Munster was originally played by Beverly Owen, and replaced by Pat Priest: ignored
7. Jeremy Gelbwaks was replaced by Brian Forster (the great-great-great grandson of Charles Dickens) for the role as Chris Partridge on The Partridge Family: ignored
8. Joel Hodgson was replaced by Michael J. Nelson as the host of MST3K; I wouldn't classify this as a failure by any stretch, but there's a debate on this at No Smoking in the Skull Cave
9. There were actually two failed attempts to replace Flo on the TV show Alice
10. David Garrison left Married... with Children to be replaced by Jump the Shark's patron saint, Ted McGinley, and I'm proud to say he finally passed.
11. Lt. Col. Henry Blake was replaced by Col. Sherman Potter on MASH: I'd have to say this was a failure, although I'm sure many would disagree. I'd also have to say B.J. Honeycutt failed as Trapper's replacement.

A more comprehensive list of TV replacements can be found here at Wikipedia; however, I tried to come up with as much as I could on my own and hit the highlights.

Tv.com has a discussion topic on whether Randy on "That 70s Show" is the worst replacement character in the history of TV here. That's a strong claim, but I must admit, I don't watch the show, so can't offer my opinion.

Tooling around the blogosphere, it doesn't take long to discover the consensus on the worst comic book replacement of all time: the second Robin, Jason Todd. Check him out with the cheap groin kick.

I also must admit that I haven't followed comic books in a while (not a surprising admission from someone authoring a blog called retrospace, I know), so I'm not qualified to really comment on the Jason Todd deal. But I have to ask, what the hell happened to Aquaman? Apparently, we have (or had) a brand new Aquaman, reinvented for the modern day comic book reader. Now he's called Orin or something. WTF?

Short Skirts in the Sci-Fi Future

Throughout the ages, man has envisioned the future in variety of ways, but one thing remains constant.... all women will wear short skirts!

The thought occured to me after completing my last post (which had a couple pictures of people in short skirts), and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was true. It is basically a known constant in science fiction that women of the future will wear mini skirts. I think even Nostradomus mentioned it in is 32nd quatrain: "And I beheld the fairer sex wrapped in garments at great heights above the calf". Seriously, the trend probably began with the film Forbidden Planet.

Anne Francis wears a series of "futuristic" dresses supposedly tailored by Robby the Robot, but actually designed by Helen Rose. Rose decided that "with excercise, dieting, health and beauty consciousness, the human body, especially the female body was getting more and more beautiful". She settled for a very short, styish dress that was to become the first 'mini-skirt.' (Source: Forbidden Planet)

According to AMC Scifi Scanner, the upcoming Star Trek movie will also feature mini skirted women as the original series did. "For me, ubiquitous miniskirts are the sum totality of my vision of a perfect future," says AMC. Food for thought.


I think the omnipresence of short skirts in sci-fi has very little to do with actual predictions of what the future will hold, and a lot to do with the fact that most sci-fi writers are men.

Lest you think I'm over generalizing, allow me to present you with a mere sampling, a tip of the sci-fi iceberg, of visions of the future from TV and film.

Evidently, in the 25th Century the uniform for a Colonel directing Earth's space defense will include a mini skirt and a sassy hat.

Even Mrs. Partridge wears a mini in 2200 A.D. However, it appears that bell bottoms will also be making a comeback in a couple hundred years.

Note: According to the series "Space:1999", mini skirts will NOT be worn; instead, women will wear velour pants. We will disregard this wayward example considering 1999 is not in the future. Also no mini skirts in Star Wars, but that was a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away). Again, not in the future - so it doesn't count.

Whether it was the film, TV series or comic book, one thing could be counted on in Logan's Run - very short skirts.

Then there's the Irwin Allen television shows "Lost in Space" and "Land of the Giants". (Thanks to cinebeats).

And pretty much every sci-fi comic book ever made (thanks cover browser) features ladies with skirts at various levels of shortness.


So what's the point of bringing this up? No idea. Just another trivial observation from your pal, gilligan.

Cartoon Adaptations of TV Shows

There's been a lot of bad animated adaptations of TV shows over the years, most of them from the 70's and early 80's. First, there's "Fonz and the Happy Days Gang" where we still have The Fonz, Ralph and Richie... but who's that girl in pink? Well, her name's Cupcake and she's from the future. Of course, you've also got the obligatory animal sidekick, Mr. Cool.

In 1974 we were supposed to be treated to an updated version of "The Jetsons" with a teenage Elroy. Instead they went with "Partridge Family 2200 AD" which featured the obligatory animal sidekick, a robot dog named Orbit.

Then there's "The Brady Kids" which chunked Mike, Carol and Alice in favor of two obligatory animal sidekicks, Ping and Pong (they were pandas in case you were wondering).

And let's not forget "The Dukes". Do you remember when Tom Wopat and John Schneider were replaced suddenly by Coy and Vance? It seems the Duke boys were seeing dollar signs. Well, the cartoon happened to start during these ugly salary negotiations and subsequently featured Coy and Vance instead of Bo and Luke. By the time Wopat at Schneider realized they had blown a good thing and returned to the show, it was too damn late. The show was cancelled and the animated version was replaced by Plastic Man reruns... how humiliating.

Also, "Laverne & Shirley" had a cartoon called "Laverne & Shirley in the Army" as well as another animated show featuring The Fonz. Not surprisingly, "Mork & Mindy" was made into a cartoon as well. Both had the obligatory animal sidekick: Mork had an pink alien that looked like a poodle, and Laverne and Shirley had a little pig in a military uniform.



Explain this to me: the Professor can't fix a hole on the S.S. Minnow, yet somehow he's able to build the castaways a space ship? In the animated series "Gilligan's Planet" Dawn Wells had to do double duty as the voice of both Mary-Ann and Ginger (with white hair!) since Tina Louise wisely wouldn't participate. By the way, it features an obligatory animal sidekick named Bumper.

"Yapple Dapple!" was the idiotic catchphrase of Babu, the bumbling fat genie friend on "Jeannie". Many may remember Babu from his participation in the Laugh-O-Lympics. As a youngster, this character annoyed me more than The Great Gazoo and Scrappy Doo combined, indeed my hatred of Babu was white hot. Interesting fact: the boy who finds the bottle is none other than Mark Hamill!





In 1972, ABC released a number of animated rip-offs from TV under the title "The ABC Saturday Superstar Movies". The program featured animated versions of "Gidget", "Lost in Space" and, my favorite, a "Bewitched" spin-off called "Tabatha and Adam and the Clown Family".

For some reason, I find the strangest of all to be "That Girl in Wonderland" by Rankin-Bass (the same guys that brought you those Christmas specials like "Rudolph's Shiny New Year"). It just seems an odd TV show to adapt to a Saturday cartoon... sort of akin to making "The Odd Couple" or "Green Acres" into a cartoon. Anyway, here's a YouTube of it, if you don't mind a rather poor picture quality.

Oh, and to you Trekkies out there - I know there was a "Star Trek" cartoon. I just wanted to make you wait till the end of the post. Mercifully, there were no obligatory animal sidekicks.