Long before rollerblades took skating outside, there was a whole fashion niche in the roller skating world of the rink and roller disco. There were bedazzled leotards and funky skates in a dazzlingly hideous variety. For instance, there was the roller formalwear...
Of course, most rollerwear was gaudy beyond human comprehension - especially attire designed for the roller disco. Not that the guys were complaining...
So, let's take a look at some of them in my little gallery of roller skating advertisements from the 1970s and early 80s. While none are jaw dropping risque like the image above, they're no less interesting for nostalgia's sake. Enjoy!
Grown-ups had their discos, bars and pool halls, but the children of the 70s had the roller skating rink. Many of them are still around today, but their day in the sun has long since past. Major cities with a large enough population to support them have impressive rinks; however, most cities and towns across America have rinks that haven't been remodeled in thirty years. Many of them are long since closed - vacant and tattered reminders of a distant time.
The roller skating rink was around long before the 70s - they were often enormous with live organ music. In the 70s they metamorphized into a disco themed haven for teens. They had everything you could want - loud music, poor lighting (all the better to get away with stuff), an equal measure of girls and boys, pinball machines and, later, a video arcade.
There was also the infamous "couple skate". Woe betide the boy or girl stuck on the fringes of the rink with no one to skate with. Torture defined is being forced to watch happy couples jaunt by over and over again to the sound of "Joanna" by Kool & the Gang.
If I had to pick the ultimate skate song - a song that just seems tailor made for roller skating - it would, without hesitation, be "Apache" by The Sugarhill Gang. The initial notes sounded the alarm to put down your hot dog and get your ass on the rink and have a good time.
Roller skating fit the 1970s like a glove. Two trademarks of the decade were (1) environmental concerns and (2) fitness, so it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that something which captalized on both would become a huge sensation. Roller skating was a fuel-less means of travel, and it burned calories - a match made in heaven!
When you added disco into the mix, the lid blew off, and the roller skate quickly became a symbol of the decade. So, get ready. This post is literally bursting at the seams with roller skating dynamite. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the sights and sounds of rollermania!
It wasn't long before the craze entered the pop culture arena via movies like Roller Boogie, Skatetown USA and Xanadu, and it kept popping up on TV (i.e. Donnie & Marie skatin' to the oldies on The Brady Bunch Variety Show). Even the likes of Raquel Welch and James Caan were playing roller skaters in films! Rollermania was truly everywhere.
Magazines such as People, Tiger Beat and Jet regularly featured celebs on skates. And if you know America, you know that if the celebs are doing it, the "common folk" will be lining up to do it too. Here's a few celebs caught with their skates on...
Olivia
Suzanne
Cher
Catherine Bach
Diana
....and, oh yes, Jimmy Walker on skates! Roller skating is officially DY-NO-MITE!
I remember owning a pair of skates which looked like a cheap pair of sneakers. They weren't allowed on the roller rink and their lack of ankle support rendered them useless on the sidewalk. A bad idea all the way around. Here's the exact skate I'm talking about:
Here's another example of an attempt to make roller skating more practical and less cumbersome. I have a feeling these were a far cry from our modern day "Heelys".
Of course it wasn't just about health and conserving the environment... it was about disco! The two fads, roller skating and disco, collided with epic force resulting in some of the worst (ahem) most interesting music of that time period.
Follow this link to check out some of the worst roller skating I've ever seen on an episode of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.... proving once and for all that roller skating will still be around for hundreds of years to come.
Are you ready to get funky in your brand new roller skates? Francois Feldman is about to lay down some roller skatin' funk in his song "Can you feel it?". Enjoy.
Follow this link to watch the 1979 television airing of The Playboy Roller Disco Pajama Party complete with commercial breaks. A little slice of heaven.
I could easily go on for hours, but I'd hate to give your computer a roller disco overload. So, I'll save the rest for another post. Till then, here's a few roller babes for the road. Cheers!
The first patented roller skate was introduced in the year 1760. A mere 219 years later, and ONJ is wearing them on the cover of People whilst the fad was sweeping the country.
Roller movies like Roller Boogie and Xanadu were raking in big time dough. If memory serves me, the intro to Can't Stop the Music featured a scene similar to the famous Travolta street walk at the beginning of Saturday Night Fever... with two big differences: it was Steve Guttenberg (egad!) instead of Travolta, and he was on rollerskates.
Here's a review of Skatetown U.S.A.: An all-star cast jam packs this unjustly ignored Disco extravaganza. Scott Baio, Maureen McCormick, and Patrick Swayze compete against one another to the bumpin' sounds of The Jacksons, Earth, Wind & Fire, and even a live performance by Dave Mason! High thighs, ample cleavage and glittery beards date this obscure classic with genuine expertise. Don't you just want like hell to see this? Well, too friggin' bad, it's not on DVD!
As a certifiable nerd in seventh grade, the mere sound of the words "couple skate" still makes me break out in a cold sweat. Kool & the Gang's "Joanna" was the call for roller boys and girls to join hands on the rink, while the losers stood like lepers quarantined to the carpet.
Skateboards were a big thing too. Sure, the boards were skinny and dorky looking, but you've got to remember we also wore rainbow suspenders and socks up to our knees - a skinny-ass skateboard was the least of our worries.
By the way, you in-line skaters on your fancy shmancy roller blades who are laughing at the 70s - you too will be laughed at in the future. Just thought I'd let you know.
In one of the most hilarious and bizarre TV moments, Wonder Woman dons a helmet and chases the criminals on her skateboard! See it here. This photo from the amazingly comprehensive Wonder Woman site Wonderland.
If Spidey and Farrah are doin' it, it must be cool!
